Autism.

Today was the day. Today was D-day as I was affectionately calling it. Today was the day that answers for Kolten would happen. Today, after a full day of testing, we got the diagnosis. Kolten has autism.  Kolten. Autism. Kolten.

Logically I have been here for a month or two. When it was first suggested, I started to do mass research on it. Kolten fit in so many places. He had all the signs and I hadn’t seen it. But hearing the diagnosis today was bittersweet. It was on one hand, reassuring, because now, finally we have answers for his behaviors and outbursts. But on the flip side…it is hard to hear. It is hard to hear that your kid is always going to be different, in a world where differences are not always celebrated…especially as a kid.

IMG_1119Kolten has some amazing thing about him…he can seriously problem solve better than some adults, and while I know this will lend to a super brilliant and determined adult….it makes for a very challenging 2 1/2-year-old. Kolten is such an amazing kid, and this doesn’t change with a diagnosis, but emotionally I am struggling to grasp our new normal. I know I need to let it sink in for days, maybe weeks.

The scary part is that our lives have now permanently changed. Before today I had done a ton of research for what helps with behaviors in autistic kids….so starting in January when they return from Randy’s house…we will be doing a gluten free/casein free diet, in an attempt to see what will change with Kolt.

Our next steps are planned out already, ABA. genetic testing, EI preschool and more….but as a single mom, looking at all of this in 1 day can be overwhelming…on top of that, Logan goes to this same Autism clinic in January.  The thought of 2 out of 2 kids on the spectrum is probably the most terrifying thing that I can imagine.

IMG_1230There is a saving grace in all of this…I have had people across the country and here in Washington being our prayer warriors. Friends reaching out, telling us they love us. Listening as I babble and try to sort it out. We are blessed. Every day we are blessed. Better than that we are cherished. We are loved. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Our new journey will be just that. A journey. Our adventure begins today and will be a life long one. Autism will not hinder our lives…it will make it better and exciting.

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