Sometimes it just sucks to be a mom. To be the one who is blamed for everything in the world. Today is one of those days.
Logan is having a hard day. 14 days with his papa and while he has been home for 3 days, he has still had papa. Well today…his papa left. And apparently that is my fault. I have been repeatedly told today that it is my fault that papa doesn’t live here. That I did this. That I am the bad guy. I have been repeatedly reminded, that not only does Logan love me the LEAST in his life, that he doesn’t like me either. I have been informed today that I am not a good mom. That I don’t give him what he wants and that he wants to live with his papa. Needless to say, it has been a fun day.
The best part is when out of the blue, Logan feels the need to remind me about how little he loves me, or how when he was gone, he didn’t miss me at all. That he didn’t think of me. That really he doesn’t need me. Yeah, today has been fun. So fun.
Now, please don’t start on the…he is only 5, he doesn’t know what he is saying. Yes I get it. But he is smart, he knows he is hurting my feelings. Top it off, tonight as we are getting ready for bed, his puppy is missing. Apparently the puppy did not come home from the hotel last night. So I called the hotel, and they believe it is in the lost and found and I should be able to get that tomorrow. But Logan informed me, that I failed him once again, for not having puppy. Yep, my fault. again.
I wish he could understand how much he is breaking my heart. How his words deeply impact me. But alas, he is 5 and would it hurt so much if he just said it once…probably, but the fact that he reminds me close to hourly how much he doesn’t love me, has left this mom in tears.
Sometimes this mom thing sucks.