Life lately has been one emotional journey after another. Each day we tackle a new emotion, a new feeling and a new meltdown. Part of it is that Logan is 5, part of it is the Autism, part of it is the changes that are coming. But all of it is overwhelming and a struggle. There are not many days or times that I complain about being a single mom. It is my life and how we cope with things in our little family of three, is just our way of doing things. However, Logan’s emotions can take over my own and it is exhausting. It is hard. And I want to be able to tag team and take a break, but alas, that is not an option and so we keep moving forward.
Logan is struggling with our move, struggling with the changes, struggling to realize what he is losing, even though he is gaining. He wants everyone to live in one place. Everyone to just be together. He doesn’t understand why he has to keep leaving the people he loves the most in the world. And I for one am at a loss for what to tell him. The move will be good yes, but hard. Changes will happen and none of us like change. Our lives will be different and honestly, there won’t be one thing that remains the same for him, except our family of three. I hold onto these little things.
Emotions are hard. They are even harder for a 5-year-old who is doing everything he can to just understand what is happening. Logan is so smart and intuitive that, sometimes I forget that he is 5 and that he does need extra patience and understanding. That for him, everything is black and white and no gray. My mission is to help him in those gray areas, teach him that it is not a black and white world and love him along the way.
Emotions abound and I am tired.